somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
