its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
