On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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