I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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