cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
True strength comes from lack of pants
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
