Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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