Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize