Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I would fuck him just for his dog
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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