yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
