You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
