I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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