Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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