"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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