were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
