I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
