So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
