youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
