the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
