think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
