Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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