I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
The best revenge is premature balding
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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