i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
