I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
You can't motorboat a personality
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
