i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
