so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
well you can't waste a boner
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
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