Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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