Whats the glycemic index on semen?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
