she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Just high enough for therapy.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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