I accidentally burped into my bong.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
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