maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
