Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
false alarm, still single
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
