So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
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