I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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