she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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