my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
