so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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