i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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