I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
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