I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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