We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
