Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Your penis caused this!
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