at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
