my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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