Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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