I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
