i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
She's the barista slut.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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