its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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