it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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