Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Randomize
