I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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