even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
