Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
