And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize
