If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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