im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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