I just made out with a guy for $7.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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