she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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