Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
