I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
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