She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
