new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
only if we run a train.
done.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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