lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
