He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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